Who are you?

Obviously, I'm a professional artist. Didn't you see the home page? Those pirates? That ship? And the big snakes? I drew all that!

What’s this site all about?

Cartoons! Blogging! Some essay type things! Why ask me questions that are so easily answered simply by looking at the masthead. Look up a little. See those links? That's what the website's all about.

Who made the site?

My uncle, Roger Bartlett (www.rogerbartlett.com), is an awesome web designer and put all this together. I drew the homepage and the thingamajig up top, but he colored it all in and made it look shiny and nice.

Really? You drew that? You’re so talented!

I'm glad you think so, you sarcastic prick. 

How long does it take you to draw a cartoon?

It usually takes me a month or two just to finish the shading and inking. Suffice to say that each drawing is the result of months of dedication and awe inspiring artistic talent.

Why do you draw so many octopuses?

Why do you ask dumb questions? They’re funny looking.

Has any of your work gone in a newspaper or anything?

I wrote some columns for my high school newspaper. They're still recovered from having their minds blown over there.

Then I almost got an internship at the Dallas Morning News. I got in the final 12 candidates, but had to come in for an interview at this point. Once they met me, all of a sudden, all that good will and respect dried up. it's amazing how often that happens. 

After that, I almost got involved with The Denton Review. I wrote a review for them and a blog entry, but after abruptly receiving no response to phone calls and e-mails, I gave up on that.

So I haven’t really gotten my “work” in any important newspaperish/magaziney publications.

Do you have a MySpace?

No.

Do you have an AIM username?

Yes. It’s Brad53199. I love it when people harass me online!

Why PiratePike?

I like to draw pirates, I think they’re funny and it was hard to find any other domain name. Also, my last name is Pike. 

You’re ripping off Maddox/one of the billion other websites that mentions pirates

Oh web elitist, you don't miss a thing, do you? Yeah, pirates have become an internet cliche. Unfortunately for you, I don't care. I like drawing pirates and they're funny. "Do you talk about ninjas too?" Eugh, no. Occasionally, but not really no.

How do you have time to draw so many cartoons?

I am unemployed and single.

Can I just steal your drawings and post them on my blog/myspace/whatever?

As long as you link back to this website, man, you can do whatever you want with my drawings. Except you can’t profit off of them (i.e. sell t-shirts) or claim them as your own.

Will you draw something especially for me and send me the original drawing?

What’s that? Sounds like someone wants to give me money! For 10 bucks, I’ll draw you a picture and send it to you. Sweet. Of course, it’ll end up being a long process where you have to get in touch with me, send the money through the mail, pay for shipping and whatever, but if you really want to do that, sure.

Will you write something for my newspaper/magazine/whatever?

Heck yeah I will! I’m always up for a job that doesn’t involve ringing up groceries!